Nil By Mouth
by JuiceOfTheOrange
Summary: "Sorry means you feel the pulse of others pain as well as your own, and saying it means you take a share of it." Sasuke had a lot to be sorry for, and surely he was. Could one word make a difference? Would it matter? If he said it would he no longer be plagued with the guilt? Was he deserving of its acceptance? 'Not a chance,' he thought. She disagreed. SasuxFem!Naru Rated: T -M
1. The First Scroll

**A/N;**

_A big thank you to everyone who took the time to read the first chapter of this story. As with anything I do I welcome all criticism because primarily this is a learning experience for me. I've written for pleasure and yet I've never had the courage to share anything I've done, so naturally this fic is already very special to me. After reviewing my work I decided to combine the first and second chapters - I should have done that in the first place -, I realize from my own reading tastes many prefer to sit down with a lengthier chapter rather than something under 900 words. I want to put forth my absolute best and like many things this too will get better with age. ;)_

_xx_

_D_

_**Disclaimer; I do not own any of the characters from this story, I'm merely molding them to my tastes and hoping to do them justice. **_

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><span><em><strong><strong>_

He let out a long, slow breath and stared up at the brilliant sky - hues of blue, pink and yellow stained the canvas above. There he lay propped up by his elbows, the same position and location one would have found him yesterday and the day before. He had never felt so trapped in his own body, his insides blazed with the heat of frustration, scraping and clawing in desperation to escape the prison that was the body he lived in.

It was unbearable, the dense fog that crowded his mind had trapped all he wanted to forget and hindered anything good from getting in. The raven entangled his fingers through his mop of hair and gave it a few harsh tugs, he could only hope that the pain would negate the mounting tension he contained inside.

His eyes felt heavy and involuntarily closed against the now evening sky- its pallette a ripening navy with the occasional tuft of graying cloud. Maybe a moment of rest would do him well, after all a solid nights sleep was a rare gem for the ex-avenger.

A loud, shrieking voice cut through the sleepy silence like a fork grinding on a dinner plate. The young man groggily peeled open a lid and peeked through dark lashes, only to see a flash of orange streaking out towards him. He gripped the side of his head in pain- it was as if his skull had been split in two.

_Please, just go away,_ he thought in a repetitive chant. It was bad enough his mouth was as dry as desert sand, now he'd be forced to make pointless, unfulfilling conversation with her.

He rose to his feet and stretched, knowing it was appropriate to brace himself for the whirlwind that was Naruto.

'Sasuke!' the hero of the leaf screamed, a crazed, manic grin plastered across her deceptively sweet face.

Sasuke turned and raised a hand to acknowledge her presence. The effort of keeping himself from running required all his self-control.

'Hey, Naru.' he grunted.

'What's been happening? You look like shit, teme.' Naruto laughed, holding back snorts.

The thumping vein in Sasuke's head became more prominent and more furious than ever. Naruto's grin spread even wider- if that was even humanly possible. His frustrated groans were like music to her ears.

Before another word could be shared between them, the Uchiha quickly turned on his heel and began to walk away.

'Wait!' Naruto yelled, jogging after the fuming man. 'I'm sorry you look like shi-, ugh, I'm sorry I said that you did.'

'Leave me be,' Sasuke said sternly. 'I'm in no mood for you.'

Naruto rolled her eyes at her stroppy teammate and continued to follow him - picking up her pace as he did. Her blonde curls bounced and slapped the sides of her neck as her gentle jog broke out in to an energetic sprint. The two rivals sped through the training grounds before continuing their involuntary race through the height of the trees . Much to the Uzumaki girl's displeasure she then lost all sight of her moody competitor, he vanished without a trace.

'Where the hell did he go!?' she asked herself with a scratch of her head-trying to sense his chakra. She leapt to a higher branch in hope it'd provide a broader view of the grounds. Much to her dismay the only valuable source of light was the so-so lit moon that threatened to hide behind a blanket of thick cloud. Just her luck.

With a breathy sigh, the young woman picked a rogue flower sprouting from the bark and inhaled its sweet notes. The pollen that loosely spread along the velvety petals had attached its powder to the end of her nose, what was left had been taken by the wind, wafting and circling her petite frame. In almost an instant the poor kunoichi's nostrils reddened, her nasal passages inflamed and vision blurred.

**_Achoo!_**

The blonde sniffed, wiping away the drippage from her nose with a baggy sleeve, the force of the sneeze so great the girl stumbled , forcing her to take a handful of the closest thing In reach- a sticky vine crawling in ants. She swayed, trying to snort the congestion that filled her sinuses. Her eyes darted around the area, it was almost too dark to see a thing now; and yet, persistent as ever she ignored the swarming,stinging ants and maintained a vigilant look out for Sasuke. 'Bastard,' she whispered.

An echoing _snap_ broke her train of thought. Before she could bat an eye; another _snap_, a soft whimper escaped her lips knowing what her future held. _Snap_; the signal she anticipated, and with that she clenched her jaw and scrunched her face. _Snap_. Detached was she from the plant she so desperately clung to. As she fell down the lengths, she was met with sharp twigs,violent branches and spider-webs of all shapes and sizes, her body immobilized from the sheer shock of her stupidity. Why didn't she move when she had the chance!? Mentally slapping herself- she braced for impact.

_**THWACK**_

Groaning from the surging pain shooting through each appendage, the eternal optimist developed an expression so sour even the crankiest of men couldn't beat. Forcing herself to roll on her back, her efforts ceased there. Mortified by her latest stuff-up she couldn't even muster up the strength to get off the ground. Freakin' unbelievable, she hid her slightly swollen face between her hands just hoping in actuality she died from the fall and this was some warped version of heaven. 'At least no one saw,' she sighed - her attempt to shine a positive light on the situation.

'Well, that was interesting,' murmured a snickering Uchiha, stepping over the grounded clutz.

'Once a Dobe, always a Dobe.' he teased.

Naruto's mouth gaped at the sudden appearance of the man who had stormed off just before. Furious, she pointed an accusing finger at the raven.

'This,' she screeched, referring to her battered body, 'This is all your fault!'

Sasuke rolled his eyes in true Sasuke fashion and outstretched a hand to help the girl up. Naruto seemed hesitant to accept his aid - she glanced at his hand, she stared up at him, she raised an eyebrow and then got lost in thought. Sasuke hadn't the tolerance for her indecisive bullshit tonight, before she came back to earth he had already taken a firm grip of her hand and pulled her to her feet.

'You can salvage the Shinobi world yet you're such a hazard to yourself. Ironic don't you think?'

'Shuddup!' she frowned.

Not wasting any time, the half-broken blonde went to take her leave, limping with each step she took. _Ow...Ow...Ow,_ she grew frustrated at her snail-like pace, even more so frustrated with the smug Uchiha who strode a few feet ahead of her, softly chuckling at her misfortune. Without any warning she stopped dead in her tracks, too tired and too lazy to go on, she called on the assistance of her teammate.

'Sasuke!' the girl bent to her knees, huffing and puffing, over exaggerating the state of her condition. 'Can-Not-Go-On, Take-Me-Home...Please.' She said, emphasizing each word at an almost inaudible volume.

He turned around slowly until they met face to...hair? The jinchuriki had positioned herself to be in a near bow - all he could see was a mess of long, golden stands. He shook his head at how ridiculous this girl actually was, she never failed to surprise him with her eccentric behavior.

'Naruto, get off the ground. You look like an idiot,' Sasuke sighed running his fingers through his lengthy bangs. 'If you need something, just ask me like a normal human being.' He couldn't help but feel obligated to help her, after everything he'd put her through and after everything she sacrificed to uphold their bond. How couldn't he?

He _had_ broken his ties with the Leaf, he had _tried_ to break his ties with Naruto, even then the Dobe never gave up. She kept hanging on when everybody had long let go - knuckles white from the grip she held so tightly, and still, not once did the woman falter.

When it came down to their last battle, as they both lay with a single attached arm; nearing the doors of death, only then did he realize what their friendship truly meant. Despite the rivalry, despite the jealousy - it was always Naruto. Sasuke knew she was the only person who could bring him home, she was his most precious person.

Two years had passed since then, the world seemed at peace, a new era washed over the Five Great Nations. Everyone felt cleansed from the turmoil that was war and were happy to continue with their lives like nothing had changed. But for Sasuke, nothing was the same.

All though his lonely compound still felt lonely - the only constant - his days grew boring and routine. For all the obvious reasons, the Uchiha felt an irreversible guilt that stuck to him like some incurable plague or disease. Of course, his feelings didn't extend to many members of the village - actually, the only person he gave a damn about was the whiskered young woman. His best friend, who he never failed to hurt.

From the day they returned to the Leaf, Naruto had always said that she forgave him, that she had moved on, but not once had he said he was sorry. The former missing-nin never thought he deserved to even ask her to accept his apology, let alone be granted it.

He was determined to repay all his debts, even if it took a lifetime in a million different worlds.

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><p>'It would be great If you didn't act as a dead weight. I don't think I've seen you take a single step.' Sasuke said, ploughing his way back to Naruto's apartment, the girl lazing snug under the support of his arm, trying to ignore his complaining for the umpteenth time. 'You can't ignore me forever Dobe. I could just let you drop right now.' He threatened, a smirk tugging at his lips.<p>

She turned her head sharply to look at him, her nostrils flaring and eyes bulbous in what looked like a primal attempt of intimidation, 'Try it and see what happens!' Naruto roared. 'If you didn't run off I wouldn't have gotten hurt. This is your fault.' she pouted.

_Your fault_

She had struck a nerve. He shut his eyes and let the words wash over him - her raspy voice rushing by his ears like an icy gust of wind, losing all sense of how far they had walked. His heart was sinking to the very pit of his stomach. He felt sick; unable to contain the guilt any longer, all he wanted to do was scream at the air and feel the anguish slip away with the echo of his voice.

'Uh...Sasuke?,' Naruto spoke softly - with an expression that read what-the-actual-fuck?. 'You can stop now.' The dazed Shinobi had unknowingly past her house, his mind flicking through the brief conversation they just had; searching for a hint that what she said had deeper meaning.

'Hn?- Oh...' the Sharingan user stopped dead in his tracks and unhooked his arm from around Naruto. Feeling lightheaded with anxiety, he stepped away from the girl and covered his face with a now shaking hand - trying hard to fight back the tears that pooled in his eyes.

Naruto swallowed as she hobbled towards him, her concern had reached its highest peak. This isn't like him, she thought, her heart aching for the man who stood in front of her.

'Sasuke-kun,' her face softened at the sound of his increasing sobs. 'What's going on with you? You've been acting so weird lately - I don't know how-'

Sasuke couldn't stomach it any longer. He whipped around - unveiling his tear stained cheeks and trembling lips.

'I told you to leave me be, I don't need your sympathy. Go-home.'

'Don't feed me that shit, Sasuke,' the blonde yelled and clenching a fist; nails breaking the skin of her palm. 'I care about you, you bastard. How many times are we gonna' go back and forth like this?'

'I know you care,' Sasuke stated ,matter-of-factly. 'I just don't understand why you care...'


	2. The Second Scroll

**A/N: **

_Welcome to chapter two!_

_Thank you to anyone who's waited for this chapter and for anyone new who's just come across it and decided to give it a read. __Your feedback means so much to me and keeps me motivated. I hope I don't disappoint in this next installment and like I've mention before - Criticism is more than welcome, I can only learn from it._

_x D_

_While I was writing I found myself listening to ;_

_Born To Die - The Amity Affliction ( Lana Del Rey Cover ) _

_I felt it captured the mood for the last chapter and the beginning of this one._

**Disclaimers: **

_**I do not own the characters - no, I don't. **__**There will be colorful language and adult themes. **__**Heavy spoilers for those who haven't finished the manga.**_

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><p>Naruto stared, dully; the flame that burnt within her belly had been extinguished . The kitsune took a cleansing breath and licked her chapped lips. She opened her mouth as If to speak but found herself lost for words. She shifted awkwardly, her weight now supported by the leg she hadn't nearly broken.<p>

_He doesn't understand why I care?_

Sasukes face contorted in annoyance - she just stood there, _looking_ at him.'Why are you still here Naruto?' he spat.

'If you regard my concern as me feeling sorry for you, you really mustn't know anything,' she retorted. 'Why are YOU still here, _Sas-u-ke_? If you don't want to be around me just go. Why help me if you were gonna be such a bitch about it?'

'Because I had to!'

Naruto quirked an eyebrow at his response - trying to read his ever-changing face._ I always knew he had a split a personality,_ she thought.

'I don't get it,'

'Of course not,' growing impatient with her already. 'I can't stand to be near you anymore.' he whispered hoarsely, his head shaking side to side in slow rhythmic succession. It would seem that he was combatting his own tongue; not believing a single word that passed his lips. Why couldn't he stop himself?

Naruto's tense shoulders softened, she knew Sasuke far too well to believe his hogwash. She smiled and rubbed the end of her nose with the back of her knuckle. 'You're a terrible liar, yknow?'

'Maybe rather than pushing me away again, maybe, you could confide in me. That, or lie better. For someone super smart, you're deceitfully un-deceitful .' her azure eyes twinkled at her effort to make light of the situation. She could swear he smiled, just a tad.

At that moment it was as though all his distress and contrition had been absolved by the power of a simple smile. Sasuke couldn't even remember why he had felt so enraged mere minutes ago. All he knew was that this woman before him was the remedy to nearly all his ailments - all though the reason for his remorse. If it wasn't for her, he wouldn't feel a thing.

'Un-deceitful is not a word, Usuratonkachi.'

_Bomb diffused_.

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><p>A golden light had crept through the parting between curtains, its warming touch enhancing the delicate scent of clean linen in which Naruto had made her cocoon. As she lay disheveled - looking dead at that - the only sign of life that could be noted was her roaring bouts of snoring.<p>

'Naruto!' blared a furious voice and what sounded like a thousand knuckles rapping on hollow wood. 'You better get your ass out here right now!' an incredibly flustered Sakura was quickly losing her cool; her face nearing the same shade as her hair.

'She can't hear you, ' chimed in an equally flustered Sasuke.

'Like hell she can't!' Sakura yelled, a forceful fist making its last contact with the door. 'She's going to make us late again!'

'Hn, did you try opening the door?' he grunted, turning the handle and pushing through the entrance.

A smile of embarrassment forced itself on to the medics face, an elegant finger rubbing the side of her cheek. 'I-i um,sorry, Sasuke-kun.'

The two stepped carefully through Narutos, _Humble Abode_, stepping over trash, scrolls, and even more trash, until the slumbering woman was in clear view. A single curl rose and fell with every breath and every snore that escaped her. One couldn't help but be mesmerized at how innocent she looked in that very moment - like not a single care in the world had ever plagued her - Sasuke, more than anyone, wished that were true - for them both.

'Naruto!' Sakura screamed; pitch high enough for most canines to hear. With a thud and a distinct yelp of pain and sheer confusion, Naruto had awoken.

As she lay lifeless, the string of drool that connected her lip to her shoulder had now dribbled in to a pool on the floor, and on the very tip of Sakura's little toe.

'Sakura-chan - it's - too - much - sun.' The Uzumaki girl slurred, covering her stinging eyes.

'Too much sun!?' Sakura's eye twitched. 'You just drooled all over me!'

The Uchiha had dissolved in to the background, now standing as an onlooker at the blaze of fury named Sakura. While the pinkette marched around, tapping her foot and lecturing poor Naruto on the importance of punctuality and responsibility, he couldn't help but reflect on the moment he had watched the blonde laying dazed in her bed. Somehow, it made him feel at peace; _hoping_ that one day he too could wear the same expression as her, _hoping_ that one day all of his hurt would be a distant memory.

He was snatched prematurely from his wanderings by the two bickering kunoichi emerging from the tiny bathroom. Sakura's guiding hand rest on the small of Narutos back, pushing her to the front door - despite the toxically green toothbrush that hung from the girl's mouth.

'All ready to go!' Sakura beamed, grabbing Sasuke by the wrist on the way out.

By the time they had reached outskirts of The Hokages Office, an unpleasant silence had washed over the two kunoichi who were at each others throats seconds ago. This dramatic change came much to Sasuke's delight of course - another word from either of them might have caused him to lash out himself. He was not about to breach his probation over something so trivial and stupid, let alone anything at all.

Yes, _probation_. A word which here means; a few good years of being the Hokages bitch. Whether it meant rummaging through an enormity of paperwork to find one misplaced page or the cringe worthy task of ordering the drafts of various smut novels.

As much as he wanted to scream to the heavens and curse the shit fight of chores he was allocated to do, it was better than imprisonment. In any other nation he would have copped more than a light slap on the wrist. In many ways he was thankful, and yet so woeful.

Upon arrival, they were greeted by the sounds of pen scratching paper and the upturned, smiling eyes of The Sixth Hokage that were all too familiar.

'It's about time you three got here. Poor Sai's been lonesome over the past hour,' Kakashi said, adding three overly emphasized _tsk_. 'Naruto, I assume you slept in again? Tardiness is an _awful_ habit.'

'Those words are cheap coming from you, Kaka-sensei!'

'Now, now, no time for any finger-pointing. I've got a mission for you four.' he said, motioning a hand for Sai to join the trio standing before him.

Sai gracefully trotted over and nodded politely at his fellow teammates.

'Dickless...Ugly... Uchiha-Sama...'

'Morning, dipshit!' Naruto retorted, giving Sai a thumbs up.

'You look positively disgusting today - I'm admiring those bags you're carrying under your eyes.'

'Thanks...' She frowned, not knowing how to respond to his insulting observation, aware that she couldn't disagree due to how riddled with truth he was.

_Damn alarm_, she thought referring to Sakura.

Kakashi cleared his throat to regain his former-students' attention. 'Now, I understand it's been a pretty uneventful year, but, rumors have started to circulate,' he began.

'There's been talk that a group of rogue ninja have been plotting to infiltrate our village, possibly capturing one of our own for ransom. As I said, these are only rumors - but, all rumors must stem from some truth. As a precaution, you are to go undercover and seek out any potential threat. There's really very little information about who might be involved, but it's speculated that they revolve in and around Yugakure, and happen to have a golden, floral insignia on their sleeves.'

'Yes!' Naruto exclaimed, fisting the air. 'When do we leave, ttebayo!?'

'As soon as you lot get out of my office,' Kakashi smiled under his mask. 'Be a good boy now, Sasuke.'

_Sigh_

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><p>By twelve o'clock that same day, team seven departed from the village gates - the prospect of this mission was the only thing that kept Sasuke sustained. All though, it was rare now that he experienced nerves such as this. It'd been <em>two years<em> since he had graced the scene of battle , _two_ _years_ since he last ventured beyond Konoha's main entrance - and despite his incessant training, the fear of what might lay ahead was starting to sink in. After all, he was a_ little_ rusty.

Conversation was on the rise and Naruto had found entertainment in discussing how important it was for her to maintain a balanced diet of cereals and ramen. She explored succulent pork, cutlets, miso - the ritual of discarding the vegetables - how sour milk almost always leads to explosive diarrhea; not the most tantalizing side topic when talking about food, but she insisted. The girl had energy for days; her comrades having just about enough.

Eyebrows rose and furrowed in disgust. 'That's really gross Naruto,' Sakura said through gritted teeth. 'I think you need to calm down a little - we really should be focusing on the mission.'

'I'm just saying, yknow?' she shrugged, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. 'Yu is a pacifistic town. They don't like conflict, they don't want war - I doubt anyone there would want to start one either.'

The remainder of their journey was surprisingly pleasant; so pleasant in fact, Naruto wished it could have gone on for a teeny-bit longer. Even though her calves ached and feet were swollen, she became drenched with an overwhelming happiness. She could breathe again - the crisp evening air nearly intoxicating; her world spinning from the delirium.

The young woman sped through the undergrowth; leaving her exhausted teammates in a cloud of thick dust kicked up by her sandals. She shut her eyes for a moment, not wanting to see what was in front of her - the mystery that proceeded was incredibly exciting. Faint blonde hairs residing on her forearms stood up in salute; the adrenaline drumming through her body.

It's been so long! She thought.

As Naruto opened her eyes, the dark overcast of the trees made it that much more difficult to see. But, by some divine miracle, a sliver of incandescent moonlight had cut through the dense foliage - acting like a night-light , she could just make out the ghostly shape of the Yugakure main gate, positioned comfortably at the bottom of a sloped hill.

'Wait up Naruto-no-baka!' bellowed a string a voices.

'Not my fault you can't keep up,' Naruto chuckled, sprinting off towards Yugakure Gates. 'I-AM-STARVING!'


End file.
